Dienstag, 23. April 2013

My First Time with Jay Reatard...... III/V

By King Khan 


Within a few seconds he collapsed into a foetal position screaming his head off. He had emptied a can of Easy off oven cleaner on to his junk. Could you just imagine the facial reaction of the doctor that had to examine him later, finding this 16 year old naked boy covered in motor oil with the first two layers of skin off his penis burnt off? It really felt like I had found a lost twin, two exhibitionist punk kids who loved to fuck shit up and get fucked up. 

He told me he went night swimming with some buddies and this girl whom he couldn’t stand but who used to follow him around like a puppy. When they got to the “lake” he got butt naked and jumped in. When he came out he was covered in shit, he had jumped into a cess pool. The first thing he did was go up to the girl and sit right next to her and put his arm around her. 

In the wee hours of the morning Jay wanted to sneak into Alicja’s room to show me something. We were giggling like little kids and he went straight to a little night table next to her bed. He pulled out this cherry cola flavored body gel that Hustler magazine had just put out. He poured some into my hand and told me to rub it it on my wrist. I did and my wrist got hot. We giggled some more and he told me about how when he was a kid he used to take a can of Pam to school and huff it with girls “cuz it made your privates hot”. It was funny cuz I had never met Alicja before and it felt like we snuck into Jay’s big sister’s room. 

So what’s next? “Wanna watch a UV porno?” Ofcourse!!!!!

Mittwoch, 3. April 2013

My First Time with Jay Reatard...... II/V

By King Khan 
After hours of unsuccessful attempts Jay seemed fed up of searching and told us we could go to his mom’s and get some weed. So we showed up at her house at around 3 AM, sure enough his mom was awake watching TV and his little sister was sitting in the cutest mini lazy boy chair i had ever seen. His mother was so kind and invited us in and was thrilled to have some Canadians in her house. It felt so timeless like it could have been afterschool but it was actually 3 AM. His sister was adorable, she looked like a little Shirley Temple. At one point his step dad, poked his head out and basically looked just like what jay had described earlier as a real “pinhead.” We hung out and smoked some dope with his mom and then proceeded to Alicja’s house where he had just moved in.

When we got there he showed us some crazy analog organs and we had a little jam (this was all years before Lost Sounds). It was so amazing to see how into space sound he was already at that age. Carson passed out in the corner on a rug like the pigmonkey (a nickname his Japanese girlfriend gave him years later) that he is. 

Jay and I stayed up till the wee hours of the morning and swapped tales about total debauchery. He told me about how he played a show in a mechanic’s garage where he got naked and dumped a can of motor oil over his head. He was literally slippin’ and a slidin’ everywhere and could hardly even play a note on his guitar. Then some douchebag rolled a spray can towards him. Jay didn’t even look at what was in the can, he just opened it up and sprayed it all over his balls.